so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
