It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
