i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
