I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
