I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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