My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize