I need to stop coming to work sober
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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