Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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