Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
