This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
