is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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