Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
