I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So vagazzling was a success
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
