yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
