i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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