Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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