I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
