Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
