Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have aggressive nipples.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
