So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
