420 ftw
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
