Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
as a side note pls kill me
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
