sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
