the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
