is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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