I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's official drugs can't kill me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
