I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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