If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
