Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
