I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
