What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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