too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
