make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
