dude i'm inner monologue high
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
