gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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