did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
