I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
