I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm at about main and main street
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
