Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
