"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
