white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
