Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
