I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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