Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
