for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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