Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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