I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
