So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
