dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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