I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
