she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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